


never knew i could feel like this, like i've never seen the sky before

by maddypng



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, because why wouldn't it be, obviously i reference tessa and scott, this is an ice dance AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 16:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15800388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddypng/pseuds/maddypng
Summary: Lara Jean Song-Covey always wanted to be an ice dancer. It had never worked out - until Peter Kavinsky asked her to be his partner.





	never knew i could feel like this, like i've never seen the sky before

Lara Jean Song-Covey loved being a singles skater. She really did. The feeling of the ice under her blades as she soared across the rink. When she could feel it in her bones that she got the perfect height for a spin. The satisfaction of landing a jump just right.

But she always wanted to do ice dance.

There was something magical about watching two people glide across the ice, interlocked in a dance hold. Something so unique to the sport of figure skating, that she couldn’t help but be enthralled with it.

Unfortunately, it never worked out. She had auditioned partners as a child, even tried through her middle school years, but she had never found the perfect partner. No one who could read her every thought, every moment so perfectly.

She almost found it though. On several occasions actually.

First, there was Kenny from figure skating camp. The instructors were having the singles skaters sit in on a demonstration from the ice dancers. After the demonstration, they thought it would be fun for all the skaters to pair up and try ice dancing. She and Kenny had been getting along pretty well all week, so they decided to try it together. It was almost effortless for them. They ran through the drills better than any other couples. At the end of the session, Lara Jean had stars in her eyes. She knew she had found her partner. When she asked him if he wanted to be her partner, he politely turned her down and said he liked singles more. She was heartbroken, but she wouldn’t be deterred.

Next came Lucas. She had danced with him at homecoming her freshman year, and it was beyond magical. They ebbed and flowed like they had danced together their whole lives. She wasn’t even sure if he could figure skate, but she wanted him out there with her. He told her that he had only gone figure skating once, and he was basically on his butt the whole time. She should’ve seen that he would reject to be her partner from the start, but it was worth a shot.

Third was John Ambrose. Lara Jean met John Ambrose at a skating competition. Again, they were both singles skaters. They happened to meet backstage when they were waiting for their events to be called. They both got to talking and discovered they were from the same area. Then, John confessed that he wished that he could be an ice dancer. Lara Jean’s heart had filled with hope – this was her chance! She confided in him that she too wished she could be an ice dancer. In that moment, they both thought they were going to switch disciplines and become ice dancers. Alas, when they returned from competition, John Ambrose found out his family was moving four hours away, and again, Lara Jean’s hopes were crushed.

The fourth, and last, guy she thought was going to be her partner is Josh Sanderson. One day, she was at practice, when she saw a new boy on the boards. When she went to talk to him, they had instantly got along. Their conversation had flowed so easily. When he said he was a new ice dancer that had recently moved to town, Lara Jean was thrilled – maybe he didn’t have a partner yet! Maybe he would be her partner! Her dreams were crushed almost instantly. This is when her sister, Margot, came out of the locker room and came over to introduce Josh to her. That’s when she realized that Josh already had partner – and it was her sister.

It was in that moment that she had given up on becoming an ice dancer and decided to focus completely on singles. She couldn’t stay in her fantasies any longer.

 

* * *

 

She was tying up her skates on the bleachers for afternoon practice when she heard them arguing. She didn’t even have to lift up her head to know it was them – Peter Kavinsky and Genevieve “Gen” Collins.

They were one of the ice dance couples at the Charlottesville Arctic Rink. They were pretty good, placing 7th last year at the Junior National Championships. However, they had gained a lot of popularity due to the fact that they were also a real-life couple. Some people compared their chemistry to Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, but Lara Jean thought that was a bit insulting to Virtue and Moir. Tessa and Scott had known each other for 20 plus years and had cultivated a trusting relationship, thus becoming the most decorated Olympic figure skaters.

Peter and Gen just liked to sleep with one another.

Lara Jean didn’t really mean to eavesdrop on their conversation, but they had ended up standing awfully close to her so….

“Gen, what do you mean you ‘found a new partner?’ We’re just about to start planning for the upcoming season. Who even is this guy?”

“His name is James, if you must know. He’s 19, and he has a lot more experience under his belt, and I really think he can elevate my skating.”

“Gen, are you _kidding_ me? Who the hell am I supposed to skate with?”

“That’s not really my problem now is it.”

“Fine, but if we’re not skating together, we’re also not dating anymore. I’m not doing it. We’ve had problems for years, and you suddenly deciding to end the partnership is the last straw.”

“Whatever, Peter. Have a nice life.” And with that, Gen walked away from Peter.

Lara Jean was kind of sitting there in awe. What could she even say? She had been staring very hard at her laces when Peter and Gen were arguing, but now, she made a tiny glance at Peter.

He looked beyond frustrated, running his hands through his hair and looking like he wanted to kick something.

She should say something right? She was sitting right there, and it only seems appro–

“Did you hear our conversation?” Oh well, guess she is now being included in the conversation.

Lara Jean fully looked at Peter. “Um, yeah I did. I’m sorry about what just happened…”

“Thanks, LJ, I appreciate that. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. The planning for the choreography for next season begins now in May, and I feel like most people already have solidified their partners.”

“I know Peter… I’m really sorry again. I wish there was something I could do.”

And then Peter tilted his head at her as if he was studying her. It kind of threw Lara Jean off.

“Didn’t you used to want to be an ice dancer, Lara Jean?” Oh. That was _not_ what she was expecting Peter to say to her.

She flushed a bright red, and quickly glanced away from Peter. “Oh, uh, yeah I did, once upon a time. But, you know, I’m a singles skater, so.”

“But what if we just tried it out? At least for one practice. And if it doesn’t work, you can go back to singles, and I’ll just try and find a partner elsewhere.”

With a face of disbelief, “Um, you want me to be your partner?”

She could tell Peter was getting more and more excited about this idea because he kept trying to fight down a smile. “Yeah, you have great edge quality, I know you can do twizzles because I’ve seen you practice them, you’re flexible, so you could probably do the lifts with a little practice. What do you say?”

She couldn’t believe how much attention Peter had paid to skating, it was flattering. Plus, he was right, she _did_ always want to be an ice dancer. And this is why she heard herself saying, “Okay, let’s do it.”

 

* * *

 

Once they broke the initial news to both of their respective coaches, Daniel and Lillian decided it might not be a bad idea. They listed off all the same reasons Peter had about her skating, and it seemed like she now was an ice dancer.

The first practice they had was by no means perfect, but by the end, they were perfectly in sync with a basic diagonal step sequence.

As weeks went on, they became better and better. Sure, they had to put in a lot more hours since they were a new team and all, but by mid-June, they were looking really good.

Margot said as much to her one night when they were at home.

“You know, Lara Jean…. you and Peter have a lot of chemistry on the ice. It’s pretty amazing that you guys are a new ice dance team. I would have thought you guys had been doing it for years.”

This made Lara Jean flush with pride. “Thanks, Margot. I really appreciate it, we’ve been working really hard. What are you and Josh gonna do once you leave for college soon?”

“Oh… I’m helping him find a new partner. He’s really reluctant, since we work really well together, but it’s for the best. I enjoyed dancing in high school, but I want a new kind of adventure.”

“Yeah, in Scotland apparently.”

“It’s going to be fine. I’m only a Skype call away.”

 

* * *

 

Ever since her and Peter had started training together, they had become really good friends. This was probably to be expected since they spent so much time in close proximity to one another.

Now, she and Peter had actually used to be really good friends when they were younger. They had run in the same group of friends through elementary and sixth grade. Once Gen came along, Peter basically spent all of his time with her.

Lara Jean had never held any animosity towards him for it; people drifted sometimes. Although, she could admit it was nice to be friends again. She forgot how easy it was to talk to him.

Currently, they were hanging out at her house in between morning and afternoon practice. They had gotten to talking at morning practice about favorite movies. She found it appalling that he had never seen Sixteen Candles, and he was shocked to hear she had never seen Fight Club.

So, they were currently watching Sixteen Candles, and tomorrow, they were going to watch Fight Club. Kitty was also watching with them since she loved Sixteen Candles.

“I don’t get it. Isn’t this character Long Duk Dong like kind of racist?”

“Not kind of. Extremely racist.”

“I don’t understand then – why do you like this movie so much?”

“Two words: Jake Ryan.”

“Whatever, Covey, I’m way hotter than that guy.”

Kitty injected herself into the conversation at this point. “Yeah right, you wish!”

“Oh yeah, Kitty? Well, we’ll see about that.” He grabbed the nearest pillow and started hitting Kitty with it.

Kitty started hysterically laughing and grabbed the closest pillow to beat up Peter with, engaging in a full out pillow fight.

It was sweet watching them together. But for some reason, it also made her heart beat just a little faster. Maybe because it was really nice to see how kindly Peter treated Kitty…

 

* * *

 

Lara Jean strolled in a quiet Monday morning, with tea in hand, ready to take on the day of training. Lara Jean and Peter were about three weeks away from their first competition, The Lake Placid Ice Dance International competition. It was the first time they would be performing in front of an audience. They could feel the pressure building, but they knew if they continued training hard, they could do well.

When Lara Jean got to the boards, she barely even noticed Peter next to her. Normally, he’s so lively and talkative, even at 6:30 am. But today, he was quiet, reserved. Which is not what they needed.

As they began their warm up laps, Peter’s hand felt stiff in hers, and he only said one word to her the entire time. He typically made warm up pass by in no time – today, it felt like an eternity.

After about an hour of their lifts feeling rigid and their twizzles just being slightly off, Lara Jean had enough. She turned to their tech coach.

“Hey Dan, you mind if we take a quick break?”

“Yeah, sure. Grab me when you need me.” As he turned his attention to one of the novice ice dance teams, he gave her the side eye, as if to say, “ _fix this and_ _now._ ”

Lara Jean turned to Peter, who was not looking at her.

“Peter, why don’t we go walk around for a little?”

He didn’t even argue with her. Just gave a quick “sure” and went to grab his guards.

Once they were safely in the hallway with no one around, she finally the asked the question.

“So, can I ask what’s up with you today? You’ve been quiet and stiff… Are you okay?”

Peter let out a frustrated sigh. “Yeah… it’s just my dad reached out to me last night. Says he wants to ‘rekindle our relationship.’ I mean, he left us like 3 years ago, and now he wants to be back in my life? After he deserted us?”

Lara Jean felt a pang of sympathy for Peter. She had known that Mr. Kavinsky had left several years ago, had gone off and gotten himself a wife and family. She couldn’t possibly know what that felt like to have someone knowingly leave you.

Lara Jean’s own mother had passed away about seven years ago. It was really difficult at that time, and sometimes, it was still hard for her to talk about, but she had mostly made peace with it.

“Peter, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. But… would it be so bad to let him in? Even a little?”

“LJ, you don’t understand. He broke my mom’s heart, he made my brother and I feel abandoned, and he didn’t do anything about it for years. And now he wants to be in our lives again?”

“You’re right. I don’t understand your situation. But I can tell you that I know what it’s like to lose a parent.”

Peter’s face immediately dropped. “Lara Jean, I’m sorry. I know your mom dying wasn’t easy.”

“You’re right, it wasn’t. And having your dad leave wasn’t easy either. And sure, you probably wish he had reached out sooner. But he’s doing it now. Maybe give him a chance? Have a coffee with him, and if you think he’s really serious about it, give him a real second chance.”

“I don’t know… he just makes me so mad sometimes thinking about what he did to our family.”

“And I get that. Peter, it’s obviously your choice. I don’t want to pressure you at all. I’m just saying – maybe try not to be so rash in the decision. He’s your dad, and he is only human. Just think about it.”

Peter gave her a soft smile, “Yeah, okay. I’ll think about it. Thanks, Lara Jean. And sorry for not really talking to you this morning. It was unfair of me to take it out on you.”

She smiled in kind back, “You’re welcome Peter. And it’s okay, I understand.”

“I’m just really glad I can talk to you about this. I haven’t ever really had someone to talk to about it.”

“Anytime, you know that.”

He gently grabbed her hand. “You know, if you ever want to talk about your mom… I can be a good sounding board.”

Lara Jean looked down at their hands. This was the first time they had ever held hands off the ice. She looked back into his eyes and said, “Thank you, I really appreciate that.”

And with his thumb rubbing the back of her hand, he told her, “Anytime, Covey.”

 

* * *

 

It was now the week of the competition, and things were going really well for Peter and Lara Jean. She felt like their training and communication had been even better since they had their talk about their absent parents.

She also felt a fundamental shift in their relationship. When they were off the ice, they touched just a little bit more – an arm rub here, a hand hold there. Peter’s smile for her had altered slightly. It was a bit more soft, kinder. She thought maybe they were moving onto something more. At least, she hoped they were.

Unfortunately, this came to a halt the day before they left for Lake Placid.

Lara Jean and her best friend, Chris, were hanging out in a little alcove near the locker rooms before their afternoon practice started. Chris was a singles skater, and she was a bit unconventional with her performances, but she was fun to be around. She also happened to be Gen’s cousin. Not that it mattered, since Chris and Gen hated one another.

They were just talking about the upcoming senior season and who they thought was going to finish where, when they heard two people arguing.

“Peter, I don’t understand. You’re with Lara Jean all the time.”

“Yeah Gen, it’s called, she’s my partner, and we need to practice.”

“Even off the ice you’re always with her. You just don’t make time for me anymore.”

“Why does it matter, Gen? You have a new partner, and I’m sure you guys are dating.”

“He’s just not as good of a listener as you.”

“Because he doesn’t wait on your beck and call like I did. Why are we even having this argument? You ended our partnership months ago.”

“Well…I’m realizing that might have been a mistake.”

“Gen, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying…maybe you and I should be partners again. Think about it over the weekend.” And with that final thought, Gen walked away. Peter let out a groan of frustration and walked into the locker room.

Lara Jean couldn’t believe what she just heard. Gen was asking Peter to be her partner again, and he didn’t immediately say no. Did that he was going to consider it? She looked at Chris, who looked sorry for her.

“Damn, dude. I knew Gen sucked, but man, she really sucks.”

So, as Lara Jean practiced, she was distracted the whole time. Why Peter going to leave her? And shatter her dreams once more? The more and more she thought about, she just thought she should end it before he does. So, he can’t break her heart, in more ways than one.

She approached him at the boards after they finished for the day.

“Hey, so we should talk.”

“Okay, what’s up, Covey? You gonna tell me what’s on your mind? You were a little distracted. You nervous?” He shot her one of his cocky smiles.

“Actually, I wanted to tell you that I overheard you and Gen by accident today,” his face immediately fell, “And I think it’s for the best that we just end the partnership after Lake Placid. You clearly still want to skate with Gen. I mean, I should’ve known I was a place holder until she came back.”

Peter looked frantic. “Lara Jean, you don’t understand. I –”

She put her hand up, feeling like she might cry. “I honestly don’t want to hear your explanation, Peter. Let’s just get through the competition.”

She immediately turned around and left, fighting her tears.

 

* * *

 

She was pretty much miserable that night. Peter tried to call her like eight times, so she eventually just turned off her phone. She knew she should be packing for Lake Placid, but she was honestly really upset. She thought their partnership had meant something, but she was just fooling herself.

Lara Jean heard a knock on her door. She didn’t even look up to see who was coming in.

“Hey LJ, you okay?” It was Margot.

“You look terrible, did something happen?” And apparently Kitty, too.

“I overheard Gen ask Peter to consider being her partner again, and he didn’t tell her no.”

Margot spoke first, “Gen sucks, Lara Jean. But I’m sure Peter is committed to staying with you. You guys could possibly win Lake Placid, I heard Dan and Lil talking about it. That’s something even Gen and him couldn’t accomplish. Plus, that boy is crazy about you, no way he’d leave you.”

Lara Jean rolled over to look at her sisters. “What are you talking about?”

Margot smiled at her. “He looks at you like the sun shines out of you. He’s smitten with you, LJ. And you obviously like him too, or I don’t think you would be this upset.”

Lara Jean’s mouth dropped. “What are you talking about? He does not look at me like that.”

Kitty rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me? When he comes over, he spends most of movie time watching you, rather than the movie. It’s kind of annoying honestly.”

Margot elbowed her. “Lara Jean, before you do anything rash, just talk to him.”

“But what if he really does want to get back together with Gen? I just don’t think I could take that.”

“And I get that! But you won’t know until you talk to him. You have to let him know how you feel. Promise me you’ll do that.”

Looking down, she said, “Okay. I’ll talk to him.”

 

* * *

 

They had made it through rehearsals and their short dance with barely speaking to one another. They maintained a level of professionalism, but they were definitely not connecting as well as they wanted. They went into the free dance in second, but barely a point behind the leaders.

Lara Jean knew she needed to talk to him – she was just so scared. She had let him into her life in so many ways and she couldn’t imagine losing him now.

They were waiting backstage before their free dance when the conversation finally took place.

Peter was extra antsy. He was pacing back and forth waiting to be called. Lara Jean was sitting down, trying to calm her nerves. Suddenly, he stopped in front of her.

“Lara Jean, we need to talk.”

She looked up at him. She knew this was her moment. “You’re right, we do. I was really hurt the other day when you didn’t turn down Gen’s offer.”

“Lara Jean, I was never going to dance with Gen again. She walked away before I could tell her there was no way it was happening. I called her that night and told her.”

A smile started to creep onto her face. “You did?”

Peter smiled back at her. “Yes, you silly girl. I want to be with you. And not just as your dance partner – I want to take you on dates and hold your hand off the ice and just be your boyfriend. I like you, a lot.”

Lara Jean was grinning from ear to ear. “I’d really like that, Peter. I like you, too.”

Peter gave her a glowing smile back and hauled her to her feet, causing her to let out a tiny squeak. He wrapped his arms around her waist, her arms going to rest on his shoulders.

“Lara Jean, I’m going to kiss you and then, we’re going to go out there and win. How does that sound?”

Leaning closer to him already, she replied, “Sounds magical.”

Closing the gap, Peter kissed her, soft lipped and open mouthed, applying the perfect amount of pressure. And it was everything and more.

**Author's Note:**

> i love ice dance and i'm obsessed with covinsky, so i thought why not combine the two? and i obviously couldn't write an ice dance AU without mentioning my two favorite platonic business partners. if you ever wanna shout about tatbilb with me, come talk to me on tumblr: mosslyman


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